Apples and Oranges
by JohnyNtheRainbows64
Summary: 10 years after the events of Majora's Mask, Link is living with Anju at the Stop Pot Inn. Their life together is everything but simple, but it's about to get a lost more complicated when a stranger roams into town. NOTE! possible LinkxAnju lemon in future chapters. This story is gonna be as long as a beast so be prepared!
1. Dawn of a new life

TBA title

Ten years after the events of Majora's Mask, Link was living happily in the Stock Pot Inn hotel. A lot had changed over the years, but the love Link held for Anju still remained.

Time's cruel hand of change had not touched Clock Town over the years. It remained as it was since the day Link first arrived. One minor difference was that since the town's threat of destruction was over, many of its citizens returned, which caused the population to triple in size. As an aftermath of such growth, Anju's Stock Pot Inn hotel became thriving with new business. Link eagerly agreed to help with the hotel when Anju quickly became overwhelmed with new borders. The old members still lingered on the 2nd floor, yet new borders occupied the newly created 3rd floor and basement. Overtime, everyone grew into a family.

One morning as Link awoke, he noticed Anju wasn't there. Moving his hand over the place Anju slept, he noticed the sheets were still warm from her body heat. Slowly, Link got up and prepared for the new day. His eyes were still filled with early morning haze as he descended the stairs. At the front desk, he saw Anju standing with her back to him. She was going over bills as Link slowly placed his hands on her shoulders.

"You still haven't collected the rent," said Anju. Her focus was not unbroken even by her lover's touch. The muscles in Link's face began to cringe as his joyful expression suddenly turned to pure irritation.

"You know I hate playing paddy-cake with those new borders on the 3rd floor. Couldn't you do it?" Anju sighed as she continued with her work. She either didn't notice Link's obvious objections, or she simply choice to ignore them. "You know, if we split up and do it together, we could have time for… other things," said Link as he slowly moved his hands across Anju's body.

"I don't have time to play with you right now. Just do your job and let me do mine," said Anju as she grabbed Link's hands and removed them from her waist. Link, seeing as how his advances would not be profitable, slowly began to walk upstairs to the 3rd floor.

Link's feelings towards the borders on the 2nd floor were all positive. He had known them since he first came to Clock Town over ten years ago. Their routine behavior and subtle mannerisms were forever embedded in Link's memory as a part of him. There was the organ grinder, whose constant performance of the same songs nearly drove everyone insane. It became so bad that Anju had no choice but to turn the room into a sound proof fortress which no noise could escape. There were the dancers who continuously practiced their choreography in the hopes of becoming famous performers. Link often saw them walking across the hall with their minds a million miles away. They would walk a few steps, stop, lift their heads toward the sky as if pondering the mysterious of the universe and walk again. They often continued this pattern for several hours straight throughout the day. Finally, there were the two brothers. Like the dancers, they too were performers. However, their form of entertainment comprised of telling the same joke over and over until the audience finally left, or laughed simply to make them feel better about their inadequacy at humor.

The faint sound of music could be heard one floor below as Link walked towards room 309. Carefully, he opened the door. Before the door was halfway open, a fist made of pure stone charged towards Link's face. Link stepped to the side seconds before the fist made contact with his face. Before Link could gather his thoughts a second fist flew towards him. With no time to react, Link took the full blow to his face. His head leaned back yet his body still remained unshaken.

"Link, you ok? You bleedin?" A rather large goron stood in the doorframe. His face had an almost comedic expression as he saw Link standing perfectly still in the middle of the hall.

"I'm getting really tired of this," said Link as his head still faced the ceiling. "Just give me this month's rent so I can leave." The goron shrugged as Link leaned his head forwards.

"I can pay you by the end of the week. My big fight with Stony Curtis is coming up, so I can pay you with part of my prize money." Link didn't say a word as he walked away leaving the goron standing looking stupidly in the doorframe. The goron, whose name happened to be Sam, had been saying the same thing for the past three years. Once a month, Link would knock on his door only to be slammed in the face. At first, the shock was so bad that he actually had to spend a few days at the local hospital. However, as the months progressed, Link was able to time Sam's movements and react accordingly. He was sure that if he and Sam ever entered a boxing ring, Link could easily counter all of his punches with ease.

A thin layer of smoke was coming from the next room as Link approached the door. As he put his hand on the knob, he could feel heat emitting from the hot metal onto his cold hand. The moment Link opened the door his senses were drowned out by the smell of burning eggs. A zora wearing a green apron stood over a pan covered with black material, which was at one point fried eggs.

"Get out of here Link! I'm cooking! You understand me?" said the zora as he scrapped the burnt eggs off the frying pan and into the trash. His hands did an unusual amount of shaking as he slammed the pan back on the hot stove.

"You know the drill Johnny. You have the rent?" Johnny's hands continued to shake as he cracked open two new eggs over the pan. The rest of his body remained under control as he continued to work, and without turning to face Link he said,

"Tomorrow, I'll have the money by tomorrow. You know I'm good for it. Don't you know who I am?" Out of the corner of Link's eye, he saw an electric guitar leaning against the wall. The paint was cracked in several places along with a few missing strings. There was no other noise in the room besides the sound of the newly cracked eggs frying.

"I know who you use to be," said Link as he turned and walked out of the room.

The last border lived at the very end of the hall. There were no windows at this part of the floor which cut off the section of the hallway into darkness. Link knocked softly on the door and waited. After a few moments passed, Link knocked again slightly louder this time. Before Link could knock again, the door slowly opened to reveal a very tall Deku dressed in a green suit. He let Link in as he slowly returned to his chair. The room was dark except for a dim light-bulb hanging from the ceiling. The deku sat motionless on the chair staring blankly into Link's eyes.

"Hey Big D, it's the first of the month. I need the rent," said Link. He used a more calmer tone than he did with the others. The Deku still sat motionless. His head nearly reached the ceiling even though the chair was low to the floor. After a few minutes, the Deku slowly took out an enveloped and outstretched his arm. Without saying anything, Link took the envelope and started to leave. Before he did, he turned to face the deku one last time. "Well… I guess I'll see you next month. You ok up here? Anything you need?" The deku still remained motionless. "Well, I'll be downstairs if you need anything." And with that, Link left the room, slowly closing the door behind him.

Upon returning to the main lobby, Link saw a middle-aged man leaning over the front desk talking to Anju. A bald spot stuck out in the middle of his thin red hair, which give his head the appearance of an apple that had just been aggressively peeled.

"And the tournament lasted for nearly seven hours, which is odd since the normal regulated time for chess tournaments is around five hours," said the man as his hand unconsciously grabbed one of the papers on Anju's desk.

"Oh, is that so uncle?" said Anju as she gentle tugged the paper out of his firm grip.

"Why yes. Johns was there along with Toby. And do you know what happened at the award ceremony when everything was all over?"

"I don't imagine I would," said Anju as she threw away the torn piece of paper.

"They had all of use line up. Ah that is to say the judges had all of us line up to determine who won what. Well, Johns turned out alright, Toby was fair, but do you know what happened when they got around to me?" Anju remained silent even though she knew her uncle expected a response. "Not even 10th place! Which is completely ridicules since I had a winning score of three games to one. Three games to one! Of course the trouble is that the awards don't go to the one with the highest wins, but to the one with the highest rating. Of course the rating system its self doesn't really matter since it's… Since it's… Anju, wasn't there something you were going to give me?"

"Link should have the money," said Anju, clearly pleased that the dull conversation was finally at an end.

"Sorry Andrew, all I have is the money from the Deku. I'll have to get the rest later." Andrew starred at Link with a blank expression. It took him a few moments to realize he would not be paid his full amount this month.

"Well, that's not good. That's not good at all. I don't see how you two are going to run this hotel if half your borders don't even pay on time. The best way to deal with the situation would be kicking all those who don't pay on time out. That's the trouble with you Anju. You were always too generous. It's not ah… It's not… Well, I must be on my way. Come by my office if you need anything."

"Oh, right, you're living in that small apartment under the Milk Bar aren't you?" said Link with a hint of a smirk on his face. The idea that someone would choose to live in a two room basement under a noisy bar still remained a mystery to him.

"Oh yes that's right," said Andrew, clearly not noticing Link's insult. Link watched Andrew gather his things and leave which left him alone with Anju.

"I'd wish you'd be nicer to him. I know he's full of himself, but he's my uncle," said Anju as she walked around the front desk towards Link. Her uncle, who technically owned the hotel ever since Anju's mother died, took it upon himself to frequently check on the status of the place. Even though it was Link and Anju who dealt with managing the hotel, Andrew, for some reason, had little faith in his niece.

Suddenly, a loud smash came from upstairs fallowed by the twin brothers landing on the floor. Sam was standing atop the stairs with his fists raised.

"I told you boys if you wanna fight me, you'll have to come in guns blazing!" Laughing madly, Sam charged down the stairs towards the twins. Before Sam could reach them, one of the twins took out a handful of playing cards with sharp edges. Any normal person would have had their face cut apart as the cards sliced into Sam. However, Sam's stony face merely caused the bladed cards to bounce off him without leaving a scratch. "Nice try but not good enough! Now here comes trouble!" Sam raised his fist and charged towards the twins once more. Seconds before Sam's fist made impact on their faces, the twins moved out of the way which caused Sam to punch a hole through one of the walls.

"Oh my God I'm not in the mood for this today!" shouted Anju as she stood in-between Sam and the twins. "If all of you want to see how strong you are, you'll do it outside!" Sam looked as though he was about to argue, but seeing the sternness in Anju's eyes caused him to lose his fury. Throughout the entire ordeal, Link had been sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette. In his younger days, he would have jumped at the opportunity to try and break up a hallway fight. But now, he just didn't care anymore. "And how many times have I told you to smoke outside!" shouted Anju as she turned to face Link.

Life went on like this nearly every day. It had its share of adventure, yet Link either could not see it or didn't care to engage in them. Besides the usual hotel drama, life fell into a routine pattern that Link had long since memorized. Of course, the only constant in life is change, which would be something Link would find out soon.

Later that night when all the excitement had died down, a motorcycle roared in the distance as it made its way towards Clock Town. The rider of the bike was dressed in a dark green jacket and white paints. His eyes were covered by dark blue sunglasses. Reaching the entrance of town, the man cut off the engine and slowly descended from his bike. The town stood dead silent as he walked through the streets into East Clock Town. With no clear destination, the man continued to quietly walk through the town until he ended up in front of the clock tower in South Clock Town. Once there, the man stopped to look at his surroundings. He slowly moved his head from left to right as he gazed at the eternal emptiness of the night air. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, he spoke as he leaned against a nearby wall.

"I'm gonna take this town over."


	2. The Prequel WITH LEMON!

**Author's note!**

**Alright everyone shut up and listen! It's come to my attention that this story needs some explanation. You see, this story is actually a sequel to an abridged series I made on youtube "zelda in da hood" Roar! I don't have time to explain what an abridged series is to all the new heat on the street. Just know that this chapter will mainly be in script form. Oh yeah and here's your damn LEMON! But wait! All the credit for this lemon goes to nintendogal55 who wrote this for me! Go check out her fanfic page for more lemon heat. Alright, enough talk! LET'S DO THIS!**

** u/953928/NintendoGal55**

**LEMON!**

Anju waited, dutifully, in the kitchen of the Stock Pott Inn. It was 11:28 at night. Her grandmother, along with the guests of the place, were all fast asleep. But then again, behind closed doors, many mysteries could come.

She was waiting for a certain boy. For a very special reason. For a very special favour.

Anju jumped lightly as she heard the front door to the Inn open. Then the gentle padding of footsteps, going past the front desk, and then coming around to the back. Eventually, the footsteps grew closer, and in walked Link. He looked at her with those curious, but focused blue eyes. She explained to him what she needed him to do, and gave him a letter to deliver. Of course, Link agreed to it.

However, there was one thing she needed before he left.

"Link...I want to give you something worth your while for all of this." Anju said softly.

Link looked at her with a confused stare.

Smiling, she took his hand, and then proceeded to lead him out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and into the Employees Only bedroom. Thankfully, no one would disturb them there. Link was puzzled. Why was she bringing him there? Anytime he tried to explore it, the door was locked, and had a little sign on it that said "Employees Only"

Once the door was closed, and locked, Anju sat Link on her bed. She knelt down in front of him, looking him at eye level.

"I'll do a special favour for you, Link... And make everything worth your while, completely. I'm sorry if it's too much...but I hope it'll be wonderful for you."

"H-Huh?" Link blinked a couple of times.

Smiling more, Anju brought her arms around him, making sure to bury his head into her chest, right between her breasts.

"Mmph!" Link was struggling a little, but then he relaxed. It felt...so nice and comforting to feel a woman's breasts on either side of his head.

Anju held him there, moaning softly. Eventually, Link hesitated, and then brought his hands up to gently but still thoroughly squeeze her bosoms. Sick of the barrier, Anju pulled back, removing her peasant shirt, and then undid the little underdress. When the garment fell away, Link gaped at the sight of a real woman's breasts.

"...It's all right, Link. You can touch them again." Anju sat on the bed next to him, giving him access to her bare chest.

Nodding, the young boy hesitated for a moment, and then reached up, gently touching her breast. It was so soft! So warm, supple, squishy... He squeezed it, getting the full feel of it. He squeezed again, and this time brought his other hand to her neglected lone breast. Now both of his hands squeezed them.

Anju moaned, tilting her head back as she arched her back more into his little hands. The feel of it all, it was unlike anything she'd ever felt! Her moans grew louder, and then she felt a new feeling. Something wet was running along her rock-hard nipple. Looking down, she now saw Link gently licking and suckling her breast. Beaming, she moaned louder, holding his head in place.

Link hadn't been sure why he started sucking her bosom, but it just felt like the right, next thing to do. And it was amazing to just lick something and not worry about it melting or running. The feel of her perky nipple under his tongue was unlike anything he'd licked. Eventually, he brought his whole mouth over as much of her breast as he could get. His other hand squeezed and kneaded her other breast, making sure to give it as much attention, too. Her moans were traversing in his mind, and down south...offering a very strange feeling. Pulling his mouth away, he looked up at the older woman, seeing her kind, sweet blue eyes gazing down at him with a strange haze over them. But she smiled at him and nodded, urging him to continue.

Doing so, he switched to her other breast, while his hand squeezed and kneaded the one he'd been at before. He then saw her hands move down to her long skirt, which she pulled down slowly, along with the underdress. Link rose up to watch, observing as her body was exposed completely when she removed the feminine undergarments.

"Link...you can look, and touch anywhere you like." Anju said softly, smiling at him.

Link nodded, blushing completely. He had never seen a naked woman before. It was astounding. She had such a nice body, and such soft skin. His eyes wandered down to the area between her legs. Very little red hairs were there, matching the striking redness of her hair. Nervously, he reached out to touch that area, feeling the brisk hairs along his fingers. Anju let out a little gasp as he touched her most vital area, and trembled.

He explored her body, but when he went to touch her womanhood more-

"Wait." She then said, stopping him.

Before Link could question what was wrong, she smiled and then undid his belt. Then removed his boots, carefully placing them aside. Then she removed his tunic, and carefully placed it aside as well. His underpants were white, and so she removed them as well.

"Oh..." She admired his length, awed. For a child, he was...a pretty good size. He wasn't enormous or huge, but he was definitely bigger than most children his age. _He must be an early bloomer!_ She thought. "Wow...you are a good size for someone your age and stature, Link."

Link blushed, feeling utterly weird at being exposed to her. Anju then reached out and gently grasped his manhood, stroking it. Link gasped at the new feeling, and let out little moans of pleasure. She smiled more, and stroked his length, going faster now. She wondered, did he produce viable essence yet? Probably not. She could see any precum leaking, so she assumed he didn't reach that point in his life yet. It didn't matter, she would still have fun with this.

Anju then leaned down, wrapping her lips around his manhood. Link gasped, and moaned louder at the feeling. Her _mouth_ was on him like this! How was that possible? He had never imagined such a thing!

"A-Aaaah! Ohhh! Aaaahh!" He cried, feeling his body surge and tremble.

Running her tongue along his length, and the tip, Anju kept going, bobbing her head a little bit. She even gently grazed her teeth along the skin, just enough to entice him, but not enough that she would frighten him about her biting. She even went further, deep-throating him then.

Before long, Link cried out at the feeling as if he needed to urinate, and then the feeling was strong...and then it was gone. Pulling away, Anju smiled at him again. It didn't take long...which was surprising, but at least he liked it.

"Is this your first climax, Link?" She asked gently.

Link looked at her in confusion.

"What you felt just now." Anju clarified.

Link then nodded, blushing more.

"I see." Anju then kissed him, holding him to her and laying back on the bed, with him on top of her. She held him close, kissing him deeply.

Kissing her back, Link felt odd tasting something of himself on her lips, but it didn't matter. It was his first time kissing a woman...he didn't know what he was doing, but he hoped he was doing okay. Well, he must have been doing something right, since Anju was still kissing him and moaning. Her tongue traced his lips, which surprised him, causing him to open his mouth. Her tongue wandered in, and explored his mouth, along with touching his tongue. It felt so weird, but so arousing. Link found he liked it. Really liked it.

They made out for some time, before Link's instincts took over. He kissed her neck, her collarbone, offered some more attention to her breasts, and then went lower. He kissed lower down her stomach, which quivered lightly at his touch. Eventually, he came down to her womahood. She had put her mouth on him...maybe he could try, too.

Anju stopped him, and then explained where everything was, and how to pleasure a woman in that area. Link listened, and felt comforted to know she was so kind and understanding enough to explain this to him. It worked better for that.

Now that he knew what to do, he bent low, and took her into his mouth. She was already leaking from earlier, so it felt wet when he went in.

"OH!" Anju moaned, now holding his head and gently fisting her fingers into his hair. "Link! Oh!"

It tasted so weird down here, and it almost felt scary to feel the insides...it was all slimy and squishy! Almost like a monster! But...Link braved it. If he could face monsters, dungeons, Ganondorf, and then the past few dungeons here in Termina...he could face this. Bringing his mouth, tongue and teeth to a woman's private place. He moved up to a place known as what she called the "clitoris", and worked on that.

Anju moaned louder, her hips bucking in response as she held his head tighter. She felt such immense and wonderful pleasure in this, with Link's surprisingly talented mouth on her. He licked, lapped, sucked, and nibbled. It was _ecstatic_.

"Link...Link...oh...Link...Link...LINK!" Anju squealed out, hoping she didn't wake the other guests, and came hard.

Link squeaked and even pulled back in shock as some kind of nectar-like liquid gushed out of Anju's womanhood like she was urinating. But it didn't smell like it. Link got some of it in his mouth, and it tasted...odd. Bitter, dry, and somewhat sweet.

Panting, Anju looked at him, and then pulled him into another kiss. It felt so odd tasting herself on him, but she didn't mind. Kissing him was a sweet little pleasure, and she was glad he seemed to like it, too. Now she held him against her by his little bum, squeezing, and rubbing their aching sexes together. Link moaned into her mouth, and she moaned in return.

As they parted, Link looked at her questioningly.

"Put your manhood inside me..." She gently grasped him, holding it to her entrance. "Just push in...but go slowly, okay?"

Link nodded, and did so. He went in slowly, slowly easing in. Anju moaned softly, and held him to her more, spreading her legs further apart for him. Soon, he was in her. Now he didn't know what to do again.

"Pull out. Not all of the way, but you pull in and out." Anju instructed. "Okay?"

Nodding, Link pulled out of her a few inches, and then hesitantly went back in. In, out, in and out. He thrust in and out, slowly, but gained more speed as he was used to the feeling.

Anju panted, moaning with each movement he made, and held onto his little shoulders for leverage. As his thrusting accelerated, it was a amazing how it came to feel, having him inside her. She moaned louder, and kissed him deeply to stifle it. It was only now that she remembered the wall in the next room was damaged and needed to be repaired, and was very thin. Whoever was in that room would hear them!

But she couldn't stop...just couldn't...she wanted him so much!

Link thrust in and out of her, going faster, and boy he liked this new feeling so much! She must have been enjoying it too, since she was moaning his name over and over, and especially when they kissed. He went faster, holding her hips for leverage.

"A-A-Anju...Anju..." He managed breathlessly.

Hearing his sweet voice utter her name, Anju brought her legs up around his little body, allowing him to penetrate her even deeper. Link kissed her then, being the one to initiate it, and then brought his hands up to play with her bosoms, adding more to the sexual stimulation.

Anju moaned louder, and felt herself approaching orgasm. As Link penetrated her faster, and faster, it was building up like a strong wave.

"MMMMM!" She moaned loudly into his mouth as she came in a strong, almost violent orgasm that ripped through her body. Her juices seeped out onto his mandhood, and her legs weakened and let him go, falling to the bed once more.

Link shuddered, and felt his own climax approaching him. He shuddered, hard, and then cried out between kisses as he came very hard, as if he were going to explode like a bomb. He groaned, and then collapsed over Anju, his head nestled in her breasts, still holding them.

Anju held him close to her, with him still sheathed inside of her. That had been so amazing...so wonderful... She had never felt like this in her entire life. She hoped he enjoyed the feeling as well.

After a while, they shared a kiss, and then Link gently pulled out of her.

"Link...did you enjoy that?" Anju asked.

"...Yes..." Link murmured with a nod.

"Good..." Anju kissed him again, and then rolled them over. She lay him down, and let him stay.

Link was puzzled when Anju repositioned herself to face her back to him. But then she crawled over him, exposing her behind and womanhood over his face, near his mouth. Meanwhile, she grasped his manhood, which made him cry out at the sensitive feel of it.

"You can do to me...what I am doing to you now, Link." She told him.

Nodding, Link then took her into his mouth again, which felt so different from this angle, and yet just as amazing. He held onto her firm, supple behind as he did this, squeezing and kneading the skin. Anju paused in her ministrations to moan, but managed to continue her own ministrations on his manhood with her mouth. Link's mouth moved along the areas between her womanhood, and her alternate hole, and enjoyed the feeling of them both. It was all so new to him, and he liked it all the more.

After they 69'd themselves to ejaculation, that was when they felt tired and ready to sleep... Anju assured that they would do this again.

"...Goodnight, Anju..." Link nestled his head into her breasts and held her close as he began to fall asleep.

It had been a very, very sexy night for the two of them.

The next day

Kafei: Anju! Get in here woman!

Anju: What?

Kafei: I'm gonna ask a simple question, and I want a simple answer. Have you been fuckin around with Link?

Anju: What! I'd never do that!

Kafei: Don't fuck with me woman! I want the truth!

Anju: Kafei, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you heard around town but… "slap! Cut to Anju looking surprised" Oh!

Kafei: I told you Anju! I told you! Don't fuck with me!

Anju: Kafei, please stop!

Kafei: You think I like hearing all that shit around town! You know what they're calling you don't you? They say you're a damn slut!

Anju: So what if I am! It's my body! I can do whatever I want with it!

Kafei: You're my woman Anju! MY woman! You hear me talkin!

Anju: I see your lips move, but all I hear is a little bitch! "slap! Cut to Anju looking surprised again" Aahh!

Kafei: Don't you ever talk to me like that again! EVER!

Anju: Get out of here Kafei! I'm tired of you beatin on me!

Kafei: Yeah I'm leavin! You think I like staying here with you! I'll tell you one thing, when I walk out that door, you'll never gonna see me again! You hear what I say woman!

"kafei beats the hell out of Anju"

later

Anju: I don't know what I'm going to do about Kafei. I love him, but I'm tired of him beating on me.

MS Kate: I don't think he's good for you. You should find a man that treats you with respect.

Anju: Maybe you're right. I'm just glad Link wasn't there to see that. I don't wanna think what he'd do if he found out what happened.

Later

Link: Hey Anju! What's going on woman!

Anju: Oh… Link… hey.

Link: hey woman! Sounds like there's something wrong.

Anju: Look Link, I'm really not in the mood. Can you come back tomorrow?

Link: you better believe it! KAZZAMBLOW!

Next day

Link: Hey woman! Where's Anju?

Anju's mom: You really have no idea what's going on do you.

Link: Whachu talkin bout?

Anju's mom: Anju has been in her room crying her eyes out all day.

Link: What! It was Kafei wasn't it.

Anju's mom: don't do anything stupid.

Link: Toooo LATE!

Runs to Kafei's house

Kafei: What are you doing here boy!

Link: How could you beat Anju like that! Have you no shame!

Kafei: Anju is my woman! I'll tret her however I want! What you gonna do tough guy!

"Link shoots Kafei in the face"

Postman: dude you better get out of here. The cops know you killed Kafei.

Link: I can't leave without sayin good bye to my woman. You hear me talkin!

Back at Inn

Link: Anju! You don't have to worry about that Kafei guy anymore. I shot him in the face with my gun!

Anju: What! I didn't want you to kill him!

Link: gaaah woman! You're sending me mixed singles!

Anju: I never told you to do anything!

Link: Well, I can't change the past.

Anju: Hmm…. I'm pretty sure you can…

Link: Well whatever. All I know is I gotta leave town. I know a place I can go to get the heat off me.

Anju: Link! What will you do? Where will you go?

Link: Frankly Anju I don't give a FUCK! I'll see you when the heat dies down.

Later in the clock tower

Mask Man: Are you sure this is what you want? It will be hard brining you back here once I do this.

Link: tshh no it won't!

Mask Man: Aaaahahahahahah very well! Prepare to be TELLAPORTED!

"now in kokiri forest"

Navi: sup bitch!

Link: graaaaybeard! Hey Navi! It's been a long time! How you doing FREAK!

Navi: So what brings you back here BITCH!

Link: I got in trouble with the law. Now I'm just laying low until the heat blows over.

Navi: Well, as long as you're here, how about you see the Deku Tree. He's all fixed up since last time. Bitch!

Link: Oh yeah you mean that time I smoked a joint and he like turned to stone or something.

Navi: Yeah yeah! Bitch!

Link: Alright let's roll out!

Deku Tree: Aahhh Link my boy! What brings you back to the forest?

Link: I killed a man. Now I'm waiting for the heat to blow over

Deku: Aaahahahahah…. Blow. HEY! My woody senses are telling me there's some trouble in Hyrule. I think a drug bust is about to go down.

Link: What kinda drugs we talkin about? Mary-jane, crystal meth, rainy Day woman?

Deku: I don't know. There's a guy coming up from Mexico to make some kind of exchange. I want you to meet him and see what's going on.

Link: You got it freak! Let's go bitch

Navi: alright BITCH BITCH!

Play rainy day woman song

Saria: Oh, you're leaving the forest?

Link: "grabs ocarina" Gemmie that crank! See ya bitch!

Play long and winding road

Link: BAFFALO SOILDAAAAAAAH! BAFFALO PRIIIIYAAAAAD!

Owl: hoot hoot!

Link: bitch! I cut you! "cut SFX" BAFFALO SOILDAAAAAH!

Bazaar: hey? Did you hear about the new heat on the streets?

Link: Now I know you're not talking about me! I use to own these streets! I'd go down on 5th avenue and make a million dollars a day selling my blue magic!

Bazaar: What? Naaah man! I know you're cool. There's this guy who came here from Mexico. He rode up to the castle in his black caddy. I think something heavy is about to go down

Link: Mexico? Hey, didn't the Deku tree say there was a guy comin up from Mexico who was gonna do a trade or something like that?

Navi: bitch you know he did bitch!

Later

Link: Soildah boy! You better be on patrol! There's a guy on his way here and he's gonna make a drug deal or something.

Guard: ah snap! That sounds heavy! You better go on ahead and tell the patrolahs!

Later

Navi: I thought we were gonna tell the patrollahs what was going down? Why we gotta sneak into the crib like this?

Link: Woman I told you! We gotta do this old school. You understand what I say? Wakarimasuka

Navi: Don't you lay that Japanese crap on me bitch!

Later

Zelda: Hey! What's going on here!

Link: Kuru tsumoi desu!

Navi: What I say bitch! What I say bitch bitch!

Link: So what's this I hear about a drug deal about to go down?

Zelda: It's a good thing you're here. There's this guy called Big-daddy G and he's been trying to sell his junk all over town. Take a look through the window and you can see him.

Link: Well, that is what a window is for. GAAH!

G: I'll sell you ten zillon kilos of my finest powder if you just give me a damn hamburger. I'M HUNGRY! "notices Link" huh? Who dat?

Zelda: Did he see you?

Link: Tssshh I don't give a fuck!

Zelda: My people aren't strong enough to stop Big-Daddy G's drug operations. I need you to go to the zora's and tell them we need help.

Link: Why don't you get one of your soilda boys to go?

Zelda: Gaah! Just do it you little freak! I was the first woman to ever become a member of the streetTuffs so you know I'll mess you up if I have to!

Zora's hood

Link: Sounds like the P.S system is finally fixed. Just dig those vibes man.

Zora King: Who dares stand before me!

Link: Sup king! Listen to what I say. Big-Daddy G is trying to sell his drugs all over Hyrule. Zelda needs your help… for some reason…. To stop him.

Zora King: You're too late dude! Big-Daddy G has already sold his stuff to my people. I've done more drugs in the past hour, than the Beatles and Pink Floyd have done in their entire life!

Link: no waaaaaaay!

Zora King: Huh!... Shut up Dale!... POCKET SAND!

Link: Ah yeah I don't feel comfortable being around you anymore.

Zora King: There's nothing comfortable about being shredded Hank!

Link: See you later freak!

Zora King: AAHH FIRE! I HATE FIRE!

Link: Hmm what's all this about.

Zelda: Get out of my way! Big-Daddy G found out about our plan and now he's out for blood. Here, take this condom! Don't forget to use it if you're gonna have sex later.

G: ROAR! That got away! Hey boy! Did you see a white stallion gallop past here?

Link: no.

G: Hey shut up! I wasn't talking to you!

Link: ok..

G: Hey boy! Take a look at my rims! They keep spinning every time I stop!

Link: What are you talking about. I don't see anything!

G: "energy blast" GAAH! Next time do what I say James!

Link: Man you're messed up!

G: Look at my rims! Look at my fucking rims! "energy blast" GRAY-BEARD!

Link: Gah I've had enough of you! No wonder Zelda wants you dead.

G: You don't understand! I'm not a bad man. I'm just in a tuff situation.

Link: yeah suuuure.

G: Fool listen! Zelda is the real drug master around here. She makes the drugs herself and uses me to deliver for her. I'm nothing but a pusher-man.

Link: Why should I believe you?

G: Zelda is a very proud woman. She won't deny she's the drug-master if you confront her. Go and ask her yourself.

Link: if she really is the drug-master, then why does she want you dead?

G: I've been her pusher-man for so long that I can't stand it anymore. I gotta get out of this game! You understand me. When I told Zelda I wanted out, she said she would eat my legs if I tried to leave. But legs or no legs, I gotta get out of here!

Link: Why don't you just kill her yourself?

G: Then I'd be a wanted man! An outcast on society. You on the other-hand, are a drifter. People know all about you and how you go between Hyrule and Termina.

Link: I'm already a wanted man in Clock Town. I killed a man, but I don't regret doing it.

G: Look, do this for me and I'll stick with you. You and I will be compadres and stuff.

Link: Alright. I'll see Zelda and figure all of this out.

Later

Link: Zelda! Big-Daddy G said you're the drug-master. He also said that he's tired of being your pusher-man.

Zelda: Oh he did, did he? Well you can tell him that if he ever tries and leaves my organization, I'll eat his legs off! Munch munch, munch, munch! Just like a billy-goat!

Link: I've had enough of you woman!

Zelda: What are you gonna do little boy! You gonna shoot me in front of all these people?

BAM!

Link: jokes on you fool! There are no witnesses… well except for that guy

BAM!

Link: No witnesses.

Link: G-man! It's all taken care of. Zelda is dead. You know longer have to be her drug-mull.

G: Aahh! It's good to be a free man! This means the police will probably be after you wouldn't it?

Link: Yeah… and I don't know where else to go.

G: Well you could always go to the big city in the sky.

Link: Don't be stupid! There's nothing up there but an old pumpkin bar and a pussy-boy knight academy.

Man: Hey! Is one of you Link?

G: Yeah, I'm Link right here!

Link: G-man what you doing! It could be a patrolla.

G: I told you! We gotta stick together ROAR!

Man: I got a letter here from a woman named Anju.

Link: Gimmie that letter!

Man: Hey, I thought he was… "gunshot"

Link: ROAR! Let's take a look at this heat…. G-man! I gotta go back to clock town.

G: But I thought the patrollas are looking for you?

Link: It doesn't matter. I gotta go!

G: Well brotha… if you're going then I'm going with you.

Link: I appreciate it, but I'm a wanted man.

G: Fool! You're a wanted man here also!

Link: yeah you make a good point. Let's roll!

G: ROAR!

Back at clock town

Link: G-man, why don't you hit up the milk bar. I've got business to attend to. The sooner I'm done, ther sooner we can leave.

G-man: Right on pig! I dig those vibes!

Link: Anju! I got your letter. Is it true?

Anju: yeah it's true. I'm dying of cancer and Kafei's still alive. Oh yeah and I'm also pregnant.

Link: What kind of cancer you got woman?

Anju: Ah you know… the all-over kind.

Link: Rohaaf! That's the worst kind. But my heart is filled with joy of the knowledge that you're pregnant. Now our love will live on.

Anju: I wanna give you this picture. When I'm gone, you'll always remember what I look like and stuff.

"picture"

Link: Why does it say "drawn by TheBigT2000" at the bottom?

Anju: Don't worry about minor details! Gaah!

Link: Well Anju, since you're dying, I guess I'll stay with you. Since Kafei is alive, the patrollas can't put me down.

Anju: Aren't you worried he might come after you?

Link: You're right, I'm gonna have to hire somebody to put him down. If I kill him myself then I'll have to leave again. Don't worry Anju, I got a plan.

Later

G-man: So then I said to the guy "Brandon, I will love you till the last one dies." Then I called him a fat pig.

Bruno: Waaahahah then what did he do?

G-man: Then he beat my ass with a frozen banana. I guess some people just can't take a fuckin joke!

Ingo: Hey ah! That reminds me of the time I..

"static screen"

"static scene"

Ingo: And that's how Chubby Checkerd and I ended up making sweet love on top of the Pentagon.

G-man: Wow Ingo that's a pretty cool story. Too bad it's all fake… just like your accent.

Link: Big Bruno! I gotta use your phone!

Ingo: We have a phone?

Bruno: You think I tell you everything!

Ingo: But I could have used the phone to call someone to fix my radio.

Bruno: Oh my GOD! You're not still talking about that damn radio are you?

Link: Hey Bruno I gotta use your phone NOW!

Bruno: Alright fine! Gaah

Call

AL: Gaah! Who's callin me at 3 in the morning! I swear to God if it's those damn elephants again, there's gonna be trouble WOO

Link: Hey assassin Link! It's me Streettuff Link.

AL: Who!

Link: Fool you know! Streeeeettuff!

AL: Who the fuck is this! Wait, you wouldn't happen to be an elephant would you?

Link: What? NO fool! I'm the Link that smokes.

AL: Oh yeaaaaah! I know who you are now! What's shakin man!

Link: I'm in a tough situation. There's this guy that I need dead, but I can't do it alone. I don't wanna go into details. I just need you to put the beat down on him.

AL: Right on brother! Who's my target?

Link: It's this guy named Kafei.

AL:…. Anything else you wanna tell me about him?

Link: Nope

AL: Sooo, you just want me to kill a guy I know nothing about for no reason at all?

Link: Just do your job freak!

AL: Hey… HEY! I'll do my job but I don't need any lip from some punk off the streets! You understand me boy!

Link: Fool! I will go over there and slap you across the face with my penis!

AL: Don't you sass me boy! I'll come over there and eat the hell out of you WOO!

Link: Bring it bitch! I'm not scared!

5 hours later or something

AL: Kafei! I hope you're wearing a rain coat cause you're about to get THUNDAH STUCK!

Kafei: How would a rain coat help me from thunder? Wait, who are you?

AL: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the… ah shit! I guess Geno forgot how the rest of it went.

Kafei: I don't know who you are but I want you out of my house!

AL: No dice! I've been hired to put you down and that's just what I'm gonna do.

Kafei: You think I'm a fuckin joke! I'm giving you to the count of 3…. Ah fuck it! THREE!

"bang bang bang!

AL: aahh fuck! Man! You shot me in the dick!

Kafei: That's what you get for being a bitch! Now clean yourself up and get out of here!

AL: I'm gonna tell my mamma on you! MAMMAAAAA!

Kafei: Yeah go back home to your mom. She's waiting for ya! Ha! Brining this trash in here? This is my house!

Stock Pot Inn

Kafei: Link! Where are you boy! I know it was you that hired that assassin!

Anju: What's going on here!

Kafei: Anju! Where's Link! I'm gonna kill him with my bare hands! Pun NOT intended! You hear me? Pun NOT intended! You think this is a fuckin joke!

Anju: I won't let you kill Link. He's the father of my child. I'm not gonna let you mess with our lives anymore.

Kafei: Woman! I would kill you where you stand if you weren't dying already. I'll just take the life that's inside you!

"baseball bat to the stomach"

Later

Kafei: Solderja-boy! Link will arrive at my house in the next hour to try and kill me. I want you to show up a little after an hour so that you can arrest him.

Solder: If he's gonna kill you, then I should arrest him now.

Kafei: No! He and I have unfinished business. You understand me!

Later at the bar!

Bruno: uh-huh. Alright I'll tell him. And for god's sake stop crying you little bitch!

Link: What happened over there!

Bruno: Assassin Link wasn't able to kill kafei. Kafei's probably gonna come after you now.

Link: No, he won't come after me. He knows I'm stronger than him.

G-man: Fool! He'll go after Anju. He knows that's the only way to get to you. I say you get Anju and leave this place.

Stock Pot Inn

Link: Anju where you at? We gotta leave this place fast!

Anju: There's no point in running away anymore. Kafei came by here earlier. He killed our baby. It was our son and he killed it. I'll die soon anyway.

Link: I don't wanna here any of this talk from you! Damn that Kafei! He took away my life. I'll make sure he can't do it to anyone again.

Later

Kafei: I figured you'd show up sooner or later.

Link: How'd you survive? I shot you in the face.

Kafei: I was wearing an invisible mask made of titanium allured that projects my face from bullets and shit.

Link: How could you do this Kafei! You killed my son. You abused Anju all her life. What kind of man are you!

Kafei: If I knew you wanted the baby so badly, I would have cut it out of Anju, stuck it in a jar and handed it to you!

Link: you're a sick man Kafei.

Kafei: I'm not sick. I'm dangerous! "Pulls out gun" G-man walks in with gun

Kafei: The hell!

G-man: I think you should put down that gun nice and easy.

Link: G-man! What you doing here?

G-man: I told you! You and I have gotta stick together.

Kafei: If you're gonna kill me, then do it quick. The police will be here soon to arrest the both of you.

G-man: Roar he's right Link. I saw the patrola car on my way over here.

Kafei: Go on Link! Get out of here! Run away like you did last time. Don't worry about Anju. I'll take good care of her.

Link: You're a sick bastard! I can't leave now. Now that I know Anju is dying.

Statue Police: Open up! This is the statue Police.

G-man: What are you gonna do Link! You gotta make a decision? I say will kill this mother-fucker right here and now!

Kafei: Do it! Blow my fucking brains out! Pull the trigger.

SP: Open up! We're gonna bust down the door.

Link: Fuck! Grab my hand G-man!

G-man: Hey! I'm not that kind of pig!

"teleport"

SP: Where is he? I thought you said Link would be here?

Kafe: Damn! He got away! Well, what are you waiting for! Go after him you stupid fucker!

SP: I will, but you're coming with me.

Kafei: What! Why?

SP: I'm Stony Curtis the leader of the Statue Police! I don't need a reason. You're coming with me.

Kafei: Fine, but when we find Link I'll be the one to kill him. "evil laugh"

Run scene

G-man: Ah this music is too scary! Why didn't you let me kill him! Now he's just gonna go and beat Anju to death.

Link: No he won't. Use your head!

G-man: Huh!

Link: If I killed Kafei, then the police would get me which means I wouldn't be able to be with Anju before she dies. However, if I let Kafei live, he'll just try and hurt Anju again. Even if she's dead he'll just find another woman to abuse. So, Kafei has to die while at the same time I can't get caught by the police.

G-man: I still don't see why we left.

Link: Kafei would have wanted to stay since he has no reason to go after me. However, I know the Statue Police leader would force Kafei to go with him while hunting me down. This works in my favor since it gets Kafei out of Clock Town and away from Anju.

G-man: But I thought you said you have to kill Kafei?

Link: I never said I would kill him. Hiring the assassin was a mistake, but I still know some people that can help me out. What's even better is that these people are enemies of the Statue Police, so if I bring them into the equation, the Statue Police will be too busy hunting them down to bother with me.

G-man: This plan sounds really complicated and unrealistic.

Link: What I need is to contact my man Streettuff Toad, 2nd commando Johnny Thunder and 3rd in charge Bull-rod. The original members of the StreetTuffs!

Meanwhile

SP: Blast! The trail has gone cold!

Kafei: I still don't see why you dragged me along! If I had my way, I'd be back at Clock Town raping Anju!

SP: Their will be time enough for raping after the job is done. Do you have any idea where Link could have gone?

Kafei: No need to look. He'll come to me. Let's just wait in the canyons and he'll show up.

Zora Cape

Link: Heey Bull-rod my main-man what's shakin brother?

Bull-Rod: Hey man you know me! I'm just chillin like a beast!

Link: Listen Bull-rod, I need the help of the streetTuffs. You think you can get the old gang back together? I mean the big 3?

Bull-rod: Ah snap! All three of us haven't been together since the StreetTuffs was founded back in 2010. It will be tough but I'll see what I can do.

Time passes

G-man: Aahh! What's the big deal? How are the Streettuffs gonna help us.

Link: The StreetTuffs and the Statue Police have been enemies since the beginning. If I get them to cause a bunch of trouble in Clock Town, The Statue Police will be too busy to take care of them to notice me killing Kafei. Any second now that phone is gonna ring and

Phone

Bull-Rod: Hey Link my brother! Meet me in the sewer system under clock Town. Everyone's waiting for ya HAARAAF!

Sewer

G-man: Damn! Why are we meeting these fools here?

Link: Hey! When you gotta lay low, you gotta go below! Ah snap here they are! Head streettuff Thunder bolt Toad, 2nd commando Johnny Thunder aka BigT and 3rd in charge Bull-rod!

BigT: So what's this all about? You know it's too dangerous for all three of us to meet like this.

Toad: I heeeear that! This better be good. You understand me!

Link: StreetTuff leaders! I'm in a tough situation. I don't wanna go into all the details, but I need all of you to cause a big commotion.

BigT: Why should we help you! Who is this full Toad?

Toad: Peace my brother peace! He helped me out over a year ago in the mountains. He's pretty tuff.

BigT: Well, if Toad says your tuff then I guess your tuff enough. StreeeeetTUFF! So what's the plan.

Bull-Rod: alright everyone listen up! I think the best way to attract the Statue Police is to blow up the town.

G-Man: Roar! Don't you think that's a little extreme?

Bull-Rod: Hey, don't worry about it. I work in construction so I can rebuild the town in like 2 seconds. Bob the builder aint got shit on me! HAARAAF!

Link: Sounds good, but one of you has to evacuate the people.

BigT: No prob my man! I can take care of that.

Link: Listen Johnny, I want you to evacuate Anju first, take her to Romani Ranch and tell her everything is gonna be ok… no matter what.

BigT: Sure thing my man. Alright, we all know our assignments so let's roll out! WOO!

G-man: What about us Link?

Link: I know where Kafei is, but I gotta go alone. You help the Streettuffs to clear out the town.

G-man: I told you fool! You and I have gotta stick together! Ya stupid fuck!

Link: I'm sorry G-man, but I gotta go.

G-man: Alright. Just be careful ya fucking pig!

Later

SP: Kafei I just heard over my invisible walky talky that the SteetTuffs are launching a full scale assault on Clock Town. I have to help my brothers.

Kafei: No! You're staying right here! Link will be here soon. Once he gets here, I want you to ambush him. The fool won't even see it coming.

Back at clock town

Bull-rod: Aaahhh yeah this town is gonna burn to the ground! I'm Bull-rod and I still have lots of powers!

BigT: Anju! Where you at woman! This place is gonna blow!

Anju: Why bother. I'm gonna die anyway.

BigT: Look woman, I don't know what's going on between you and Link. All I know is he sent me to take care of you, and he said everything was gonna be ok.

Anju: You don't understand! I had life growing inside me and now it's dead! I'll die soon anyway and then what! How will our love stand the test of time without a child?

BigT: Look Anju, I don't know too much about that. All I know is that in spite of all that's happened, Link still loves you. The memory of your love will live on inside Link's heart. Besides, you should spend your last moments together. I'm sure that's what Link is fighting for anyway.

Anju: You're right. I'll wait for him. I'm sure we'll be together by morning.

Later

Link: Kafei! You know why I'm here.

Kafei: You better just put that gun down Link. Killing me won't save Anju.

Link: I know. But it will save the people of Termina from your sick mind.

Kafei: Do it then! Kill me so you can get back to your whore!

Link: you bastard!

SP: Too Slow!

Shoots gun out of Link's hand

G-man: Link! My pig! You ok

Link: Aahh damn G-man! What you doing here!

G-man: I knew you would need my help, but I guess I was late.

Link: G-man you got any heat on you?

G-man: Sorry man. I got hungry so I ate it on the way over here.

Link: Hah just like a damn freak.

Kafe: I'm tired of all this shit! I'm gonna kill you Link. I'm gonna kill you right where you stand and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. You got anything to say about that?

"pause

Link: Now what we got here… is a failure to communicate.

Kafei kills Link

G-man: Link! My pig! AAAHH!

Kafei: He's gone crazy! Put him down!

Bang

G-man: AARGH! "pant" you hang on in there Link… you hang on. "dead"

SP: You fallow me and I'll radio ahead to the ER

Kafei: I'm taking him to the Clock Town prison hospital.

SP: But Clock Town is destroyed. He's not gonna make it.

Kafei: Get out of the way…. He's mine.

Kafei: Hey wait a minute. Where's my invisible mask that protects me from bullets?... GGRAAAA! RRRRRRRROBOT HOOOOOOOOOOOOUSE!

Prologue!

Kafei checked into Anger Management to deal with him being a jerk. He's all mellowed out now and doesn't wanna hurt anybody. However, a few weeks after the events of this story, he was shot in the face by an Indian "I mean the woo woo kind" He's DEAD!

Anju died of cancer but she had a fairy in a bottle so she is ok. She and Link hooked up and they made sweet passionate love every night WOO!

Link saved Termina form the moon and all of that jazz. He decided to move in with anju so he could fuck her like every day and stuff. "oh yeah and Link in my story is like 16 or whatever and Anju is like…. 19 i guess ROAR!"

Clock town was rebuilt in like 1.2 seconds. Alright now that everyone is caught up, we can continue with the story in chapter 3!


	3. Pay what you owe

On a particularly hot day in the back alley of West Clock Town, two gorons stood sweating in the hot sun. They were dressed in fine business suits, which only added to their discomfort.

"I'll give him five more minutes then I'm gone," said one of the gorons as he straightened his tie. They had been waiting for nearly an hour when suddenly a goron dressed in street clothes appeared from around the corner. He took his time approaching the gorons as he dragged his feet across the burning pavement. His emotionless eyes were fixed upon the façade smiling faces.

"That was some fight you had last night Sammy. Too bad you won." The two gorons laughed as Sam stood silent. He was supposed to have lost his previous fight. At least, that's what his boss wanted. "You know the rules Sammy. If you don't take a dive when the boss tells you to, you have to give him your prize money." Sam reached for the money that was in his pocket. He was just about to take it out when suddenly he stopped.

"You know I don't care about the money. All I want is a shot at the title. Let me fight the champ and I'll give you all the money I win if that's what it takes." One of the gorons laughed as he put his arm around Sam.

"Sammy, you know it doesn't work like that. You fight the champ when and if the boss says so." Sam slowly pushed the money back in his pocket.

"Well if that's how it's gonna be, then I just won't pay. The boss can get his money once I fight the champ." The goron that had been silent throughout the conversation started to pull out a gun from inside his jacket. Before he could act, his partner grabbed his arm and slowly pushed it down.

"Peace my brother. Peace. There's no point getting blood on the streets today. I'm sure if we give Sammy some time to think about it. He'll come to the right decision. Now here's how it's gonna be. We'll give you a month to think it over. After that, we'll come lookin for you to collect. And with that, the two gorons left Sam standing under the blazing sun.

Sam paced back and forth across the main lobby of the Stock Pot Inn. His nerves were almost at the breaking point as he glanced at the clock every few minutes. The sound of a door shutting from the 2nd floor finally pushed him over the edge as he punched a hole in the wall.

"I'm adding that to your rent Sam," said Anju as she continued working at the front desk. She didn't bother to look up from her work even after Sam apologized.

"Miss Anju, are you sure two guys haven't come by lookin for me today?" asked Sam as his palms began to sweat.

"Trouble with the police Sam?" asked Anju as she flipped through the pages of her account book.

"No, not exactly," said Sam. After a few minutes of silence, Anju closed the account book and stood up.

"I'm going down to the basement to do some laundry. You know what to do if someone walks in right?" Sam nodded as Anju left for the basement. After a while, Sam started to relax. Over the past month, he had plenty of time to decide whether or not to hand over the money. It didn't take him long to realize that if he refused, the gangsters would just take it from his lifeless body. It would be better to just hand over the money and keep fighting until he reached the champ. Of course, there was always the possibility they would kill him even if he handed the money over. Sam was just about to sit down when two gorons entered from the main door.

"Sammy! It's been too long!" said one of the gorons as he put his arms around Sam for an embrace. The smile he wore threatened to tear his face apart. His partner remained silent as they both stepped into the hotel.

"I guess you're here for the money right Alex?" asked Sam as he anxiously looked down the hallway. He hoped nobody would see him associating with these people.

"Easy Sammy! Easy! We just got here. Let's set down and relax for a while," said Alex as he and his partner sat on the nearby couch. From his jacket pocket, Alex produced a pack of cigarettes. He offered one to Sam as he lit one of his own.

"No thanks. You know the owner of this hotel really doesn't like people smoking inside," Alex laughed as he held the cigarette between his teeth.

"Where's the owner? I don't see anyone. Relax man! It's cool!" A few moments of silence passed while Alex smoked his cigarette. Once he was finished, he threw the remains in a potted plant and stood up. "Well, that's enough of that, so how about that money?" Sam reached inside his pocket and took out a bag filled with three-hundred red rupees. Alex frowned as he examined the contents of the bag. "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy! This is no good my man." Confusion spread across Sam's face as he reached for the bag.

"What are you talking about? I owe you all of the prize money from that night. That comes to six-hundred rupees."

"True Sammy, true. Six-hundred would have been the correct amount a month ago, but you're forgetting about the interest. That comes to a total of twelve-hundred." Sam's hands turned into fists of stone as his anger rose.

"Hey that's not fair! You never said anything about-" Before Sam could continue, Alex slowly opened his jacket which held a gun.

"Easy Sam. Don't do anything stupid" smiled Alex as Sam starred at the gun. The faint sound of laughter could be heard in the distance as a man wearing a green t-shirt walked into the lobby.

"Good luck telling him not to do anything stupid Mr." said Link as he stood next to Sam. Alex smiled as he stared into Link's eyes.

"Is Sammy a friend of yours?"

"I am aware of his existence if that's what you mean," said Link. Alex laughed as he pulled out his cigarettes offering one to Link. Waving it away, Link saw the remains of the previous cigarette inside the potted plant. "I wish you hadn't of done that. Anju, that is to say the owner of this place, hates it when I smoke inside. She sees that and she'll think it's mine."

"Well, Sammy here owes us twelve-hundred rupees or we're gonna blow his fuckin brains out so I guess we all have our own problems don't we?" said Alex. Link starred at Alex and his partner for a moment before walking back down the hall.

"Pay what you owe Sam. You mess with gangsters and you gotta pay the price," said Link as he walked away.

"Link you don't understand! I have the money. These guys are trying to hustle me!" said Sam.

"Shut up! I'm through playing around Sam! You have the money ready in half an hour or we'll burn this place to the ground with you inside it!" Hearing this, Link stopped as he turned to face the three gorons.

"Now hold on a minute. What you do with Sam is none of my business, but when you talk about burning down this hotel, you've crossed the line." Alex quickly pulled out his gun and pointed it towards Link.

"You know I'm getting really tired of your smart remarks! Why don't I just kill the both of you and be done with it!" Link slowly raised his hands in the air as he walked next to Sam.

"Easy. You kill Sam and you won't get any of that money. I can tell you'll a smart guy so why don't you put the gun away and let's talk," said Link. Slowly, Alex put his gun back in his jacket and began to smile.

"You're right. There's no need to get blood on the floor. We can always talk things over, so what did you have in mind?"

"Well, a smart guy like you must realize that it'll take longer than half an hour to collect all that money," said Link. Alex's smile began to fade.

"I want my money today." said Alex with a hint of frustration.

"Sure, you'll get your money today. I'll see to it that Sam pays what he owes. Now how about this. There's a bar right across the street from here. Why don't we all meet there in three hours? We can relax, have a few drinks and Sam will hand over the money no problem." Alex turned to face his partner as if seeking approval.

"I like the way you think. Sure, that sounds like a plan. We'll meet you there in three hours," said Alex as he and his partner began to leave the hotel. The moment they left. Both Link and Sam sat on the couch. There was silence between them for a few minutes before Sam finally spoke.

"What are we gonna do Link? There's no way I can get that kind of money in three hours and-"

"Shut up Sam I'm thinking," said Link as he suddenly got up from the couch. He paced back and forth with his hands behind his back for a few seconds before he stopped to face Sam. "Alright, here's what we're gonna do."

The rays of the neon lights penetrated the darkness within the bar as a group of people sat together. A briefcase sat next to one man as he put down his drink. The intoxicating magic of Scotch showed in his ocean blue eyes.

"And so I told the guy, I'm not naked I just don't have any clothes on!" laughed Link as he put down his drink. The two gorons sitting across from him irrupted into laughter.

"I gotta say Link. It was a good idea meeting here. This place is really swingin!" said Alex as he motioned for the bar-tender. A large man in a white dress shirt and thick mustache quickly approached. "Gimmie another one of those Space Cowboys! I feel like havin another blast!" said Alex as he slammed five rupees on the table.

"You got it. Oh and Link Anju is on the phone. She says she needs to talk to you about something. You can take it in the back room." As Link got up from his chair, he grabbed the briefcase and put it on the table.

"I believe the three of you have business to take care of. There's no need waiting for me." Alex smiled as he stared into Sam's eyes.

"I hope you have something good for me Sammy," said Alex. Slowly, Sam opened the briefcase to reveal six-hundred red rupees. The crimson glow from the case shined brightly in Alex's eyes.. "See, that wasn't too hard. I'll just take this money and be on my way." Alex was about to close the case when Sam reached his hand out to stop him.

"Hold on a minute Alex. This is the last time you and I do business. I want out of this game. I've lived my life trying to fight my way to the top. I thought I needed a little extra help. That's why I came to you back then. But now I know I can make it on my own. I've got the strength within me to do anything. I'm asking ya as a brother goron to let me go." A few moments of silence passes before Alex spoke.

"Well Sammy, I have to say I-" Suddenly, gunfire was heard from outside as a tall deku dressed in dark clothes burst into the bar. The sight of the rupees immediately caught his attention. Waving his gun towards Alex, he motions for him and his partner to get on the ground. Before the deku could take the rupees however, Sam jumped in front of him with his fists raised.

"Hey man, you can take what you want but you're not getting what's in that case!" Sam swung madly with his left fist hitting the deku in the face. Before Sam could fallow with another punch, the deku shot him in the knee. Sam hit the floor hard as the deku reached out for the briefcase. Just then, Link ran out from the back room with a knife in his hand. Before he could even come close, he fell to the floor as the deku shot him in the chest. "Link! You're not gonna die today man!" Sam slowly dragged himself towards Link's lifeless body as the deku grabbed the briefcase. His gun was pointed towards Alex and his partner as he made his way out the door.

"Link! What am I gonna tell Anju? She'll kill me if you're dead!" said Sam. Link's breathing had stopped as his eyes surrendered to the night. Alex walked over towards him and gazed at the dead corpse on the floor.

"Sam, I'm sorry this had to happen. If you want out, then so be it. I can see you've done your time." Sam turned to face Alex

"What about the money?"

"Forget it. I saw that you had it and you at least tried to stop that guy from taking it. The boss isn't gonna miss twelve-hundred rupees." A few moments of silence passed before Alex and his partner left. The minute the door closed behind them. Link got up and poured himself a drink.

"Glad that's over. That Alex was a real idiot. No wonder he feel for it," said Link. A few minutes later, the deku entered the bar carrying the briefcase. "Here comes the star of the show! My man duke! The silent deku that packs blanks in his gun. Let me buy you a drink." Duke remained silent as he sat down at the bar.

"That was some speech you gave Sam," said the bar-tender as he poured Duke a drink.

"Yeah well, I just had to talk long enough for Duke to show up. The important thing was that he saw what was in the case. It wouldn't of made any sense if he went for a case not knowing what was in it."

"Sure, sure all I had to do was call Duke and ask him to put on a show. He's always up for a rumble. Isn't that right duke?" The deku remained silent as they began to laugh. Suddenly, Andrew walked in from one of the back rooms.

"What the blazes is going on in here? I heard gun-shots." Andrew turned to look at Link who continued to laugh.

A few days after the events in the bar, a man dressed in dark green clothes wearing blue sunglasses entered the Stock Pot Inn. Anju barely noticed him as she continued to work. Instead of walking towards the front desk, the man picked up a newspaper that was on the couch and began to read.

"Hey, this isn't a library! Either check into a room or get out," said Anju as she looked up from her work. The man smiled as he turned to face Anju.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. This hotel looked so good on the outside that I just had to see what it looked on the inside."

"Well, you've seen it. Would you like a room?" asked Anju.

"Maybe some other time," said the man. He was about to put down the newspaper when he saw a picture of Link and Anju together hanging on the wall. He stared deeply at the picture for a few moments before he turned to face Anju. "Excuse me. I know this might seem weird, but may I take the obituaries?" Anju stared at the man before she answered.

"Sure. I hope you don't find anything in there," said Anju as the man took what he wanted and headed for the door.

"Yeah well, I hope I do."


End file.
